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23 January 2012 @ 09:41 pm
Lemme tell you what
too much of you in my head is just a mid-August sun
and the day is overcast
and i am topless behind the up-high curiousness of my eighth story deck
i know i'll be red and blistered
in an hour or so
but right now this warmth's a welcome song
nodding off with my head on your shoulder
eighty percent exposed

every doctor is saying cover up,
'cause it's cancer you're asking for
and no sunburn's worth that cost
i've had my share of sunburn
and there's cancer in my genes
let's just have this lazy day
that hazy sun and me
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: Damnit woman, get out of my head.
09 December 2011 @ 12:16 am
i don't care how fast you run
just tell me, baby, that when you're done
with your little marathon
you still got cab fare home
cuz the finish line is a shifty thing
and what is life but reckoning?
and, you know
you are still the song i sing
to myself
when i'm alone
Current Mood: okayokay
08 November 2011 @ 10:52 pm
You know what I love? Pudgy gay men. Particularly middle-aged, pudgy gay men.

You think this is cute? Well I think this is cuter.

Pudgy gay men are my version of adorable hamsters.

The Adorable Pudgy Gay Man List of 2011:

1. Nathan Lane (shoving an old lady into the gutter, no less)

2. Harvey Fierstein D: He's like the amazing, supportive gay non-drug-addicted brother I never had.

3. Neil Tennant Maybe not pudgy, but he's still middle-aged.

4. Ricky Gervais JUST KIDDING! But since he's lost weight he just isn't as cute...
Current Location: The Pants Louvre
Current Mood: gay
Current Music: The Producers
This is just to say I'm gonna keep it a secret. What I mean to say is, I stopped that fairytale business a long time ago. The worst part about it is I find I lose a little more of it every day.

The gnat that flew into my nose has laid eggs in my brain, I think, because there's this itching behind my right eye that just won't let up. What a buzzing nonsense this is.
Current Mood: <3
20 October 2011 @ 01:45 am
With our local anime/video game/otaku/nerdfreak con in town this weekend (and myself much anticipating it), and months and months of prep behind me, I can finally say I'm almost ready for it...almost.

Being the procrastinator I am, I've still got the rolling chair for my Dr. Stein cosplay to complete. This requires reupholstering it, then sewing white and green fabric together in a funky pattern, then sewing that fabric with yarn at the edges to give it a stitched-together look, then slapping THAT on the chair cushions.
So I sat down with fabric and cushions on my lap, laptop before me, and watched five hundred how-to videos on reupholstering. I can say with some confidence I am now a reupholstering pro. This does not mean it translates well on a shoddy nine dollar desk chair, however...
After spending most of the night stabbing myself in the hand repeatedly with pliers and a sewing needle, I managed to finish the backrest portion of the chair, minus a square of stitching. I was all ready to move onto stapling the green fabric to the seat when I discovered the staple gun had run out of staples. Having none on hand, I grew frustrated, stopped what I was doing then went and looked at porn for an hour.

All I can say is, at least I've just got that to finish up. Once the chair is done, voila! All my cosplays will be complete!

In other news, I can see my bedroom floor again. It's been like, two months since there hasn't been an entire layer of clothing/sketchbooks/cosplay shit covering it. So at least today was semi-constructive.

Go yeeners!
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: WTF Prince
12 October 2011 @ 01:25 am
my hands not holding my wrists like they once did
and for so long it was just that
all i want is for the empty space to go away
and the silence to be full of the insistence and footfalls and shouting but
instead i am holding my hands behind my back again
and covering my mouth with that gag again
exhale exhale after months of holding
my breath was frost on the window
my thoughts were ice melt and
the levy broke
wide eyed staring at the edge of the overflow and i shouted out your name
you were busy canceling out the noise with someone else
and i was left to float down that new riverbank

gonna say it now, i don't want you taken from me, and these thoughts eat up the selfish and the concentric spirals carved in my eyes and i don't want it and there's nothing i can do about it now and i don't know anymore what to say
i want to take it all out
i want to chew it all out and take it
stomp it burn it cut it all away
i want the size of my helplessness awful hopelessness my elephant in the room
will the doctors say they got it all
the doctors
all the while
i hope they know to god i hope they know

let me let go
let me unbind
come on now
i was such a busy little child
busy disappearing and a fly on the wall
lost in a landscape of buildings and impossible waterways
when you were likely busy with the latest novel thing
looking back and not much changed
your next big newspaper story and mine's just another fable
about dogs in a city of men
so step on through that plate glass window, kid
and shatter your double-pane proclivities
shrug your shoulders
shrug off the last of your insecurities
onto me

and my concave heart is full to burst with something else
look closely and you'll see it writhe a thousand fish a naked stream
those bodies silver car exhaust
were you listening when i broadcast
or was it just that i had nothing good to say?

front row empty seat and you were jumping just to take it
before i knew he had left you were already in his space and i was
so just whisper nothings the way he used to do
i'll nod off to sleep and forget he isn't you
Current Mood: intimidatedintimidated
Current Music: The Middle East
A conversation the other day:

*after pulling a frozen Eggo waffle out of the freezer and proceeding to eat it*

Alex: "Are you seriously eating that frozen?"

Me: *swallow* "Yeah. They're better this way."

Alex: "You're weird, babe."

Me: "...YOU'RE weird."

*finishing my waffle*


It's been a while since I updated this thing, yet again. I've been sort of in that funny hazy place between the mind-numbingly droll land of 9-to-5 shifts and playing family fun times with the boyfriend, all the while feeling like I've been neglecting my more creative pursuits. Which I have. Terribly.

So this one's gonna be more stream of consciousness bullshit until I can get my bearings and actually write something of worth in this damn thing.

Right. So.

I don't understand Seinfeld. I know that situational comedy and dramatic irony were the main points of the show, and while it's clear that this was what made it unique amongst other sitcoms (particularly in the nineties), I didn't get it then and I don't get it now. Maybe the biggest thing that bothers me is the fact that the characters tend to blow up and have these exaggerated responses to everything, even minute issues that are dragged out over entire episodes. Or maybe it's because these behaviors remind me of my own family. Regardless, I don't think it's that funny.

Aaaaand now that the Simpsons is on I can entertain my pitifully low attention span with slapstick humor and celebrity guest appearances. Yes. It's like a soothing malt over the brain. And this is the episode with Mulder and Scully. I miss the X-Files, but it really did go downhill once the duo was split up and Agent Doggett stepped in.


After seeing Despicable Me this weekend, I must say I'm now addicted to the main protagonist (er, antagonist...I guess, since technically he IS the bad guy here), Mr. Gru.

He's a villain who plans to steal the moon in order to outdo his own arch-enemy, Vector, the obnoxious pubescent nerd that won't stop boasting about stealing a pyramid from Egypt. Gru's character is voiced by Steve Carrell, who lends an Eastern European/Russian accent to the roll, and does it seamlessly. The character is adorable because for all his evil aspirations he comes off as more of a not-so-evil, evil lovable, curmudgeon.

My only issue is, there's a serious lack of Despicable Me merchandise available, thanks to the fact that Universal thought the movie wouldn't do as well in cinemas as it actually did. Making things more frustrating is, even for the Minion toys and plushes, there are absolutely no Mr. Gru toys! So, I've stooped to commissioning a Gru plush from a DA artist, and hopefully that comes to fruition soon.

So, here's the man himself:

Aaaaaaaannnnd I'm out.
Current Location: bed
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: 'Despicable Me' -Pharell
30 January 2010 @ 02:19 am
Now, not to be discriminatory against certain groups of individuals (as I generally am not), but I feel the need to bring something up:

Earlier today, whilst I was at work, a gentleman walked through the door and asked if we were hiring. I explained we were not but that we always accept applications, and proceeded to hand him an application to fill out.
As the gentleman sat and filled out the paperwork, I noticed that he hadn't a hair on his head. This struck me as odd (not that he should be bald), but that I suddenly felt a bit standoffish toward him.
Thinking back on it, I fear this has something to do with my slight dislike for the Superman villain, Lex Luthor.

As I child I recall pouring over various DC comics and coming across the Kryptonian's epic battles of wits with the mastermind himself, and what stood out most to me was, well, the fact that Lex is a baldy. So, perhaps that knee-jerk reaction to seeing a bald fellow stroll into the clinic has its roots in my childhood dislike of Lex Luthor.

Another great irony is the obvious fact I am dating a bald guy. Yep. We can all sit and ponder over that one a while for all its great Freudian mystery. Luckily, this fellow behaves nothing like the DC supervillian. If he did, I'd probably be struggling to escape the crushing blow of a killer robot, or else feeling rather like a used pawn in some existential chess game. This is not to say I do not trust him-quite the opposite. It's just that, initially, I've had this unexplainable mistrust of men completely devoid of head hair. Up until now.
Thanks, Lex.

Case in point: Gina doesn't trust baldies.


Current Location: The Fortress of Ginatude
Current Mood: sillysilly
Current Music: 'Nantes'-Beirut
18 December 2009 @ 08:00 pm
and the mailbox
it is a pandora's box
with your letter in
you couldn't just drop it at my doorstep
because, you know, then I could at least take a match to it outside my door.
and trust me,
when I'm playing with fire, there's nothing I could want more.
instead you wrapped it nicely
in that plain white envelope
obtuse at the corners as your lips
when i would make a joke
and the humor was lost on you again
you could kiss
and you could fuck
and for a time i figured there was nothing more to want
because i edged up next to your street corner
and you knocked on my driver's side window
your eyes glittered like neon signs
i invited you in with 'hello'
but honey love only lasts an hour
when money's all you got
and sex it sells like cigarettes
or promises
or not




2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)


3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)

Grey Hyena

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)


5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink)

Purple Pepsi. :D

6. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name, last two letters of your first name then last three letters of your last name)


7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (both parents middle name)

Renee Joseph

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)

Black Stella.

9. NINJA NAME: (First two letters of your first name added with Ruto)


10. PIRATE NAME: (Your middle name after the word 'captain')

Captain Marie.
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Lost in Translation
09 December 2009 @ 09:02 pm
i want you
thrusting up against me
a dog on his hind legs
insistent in his need

i want you
the shower beckons
steam heat and naked
no room for shame

shoulder blades and a valley between them
my compass tracing the geometry of your spine
your hips
your ass

there are women everywhere
being raped by men
who hunt them
down alleys or dark corners
under the suffocating blanket of night

there's the primitive reptile brain
the old fight or flight
the hands deny the wrists
a struggle

i consider traumatic insemination
bedbugs do it
flagellum do it
i consider you
and if you'd do it
and for a moment i cease breathing

you've fucked so many girls
the bright fine heads mounted on your walls
their vague glass eyes glittering
their mock life grins

i will not be one of those trophy mounts
it is decided
if i am to have you
you will be caught off guard
your rifle misfiring with the weight of my impact
my heat, my rage, my nails
digging furrows through the fabric of you
until my teeth settle satisfyingly
and i content myself with your flesh
Current Mood: hornyhorny
Current Music: Lady Gaga